thisweekinitaly.com

Weekly Newsletter number 9

Dog Doo-Doo (Continued)

Last week at a concert of The American String Quartet, I suddenly detected
the unmistakable odor of dog doo-doo. Even worse, from the strength of the
odor, it was soon apparent from whose shoes it was emanating. Now if one
passes gas in public, the momentary smell (and the momentary
embarrassment)dissipates, but not the smell of dog crap. So I spent
intermission washing off the sole of one shoe.

Official Stamps

Italians have a fetish for using stamps for legal purposes. When I pay my
rent, my landlord gives me a receipt. On the receipt he puts a stamp he
buys (at tobacco shop) which costs 1.27 Euros. I don’t even need a receipt
(I trust him)and I surely don’t need a receipt with an official stamp on
it. At the town hall is a bulletin board where legal decisions are posted.
I looked at it one day and saw a sheet of paper fully covered with stamps.
I wondered if it was an announcement of a stamp collectors’ convention. No
just the stamps to make it official. There are legal fees in USA too. You
pay them and the clerk stamps the document “Fees paid.” The “Stamp Lobby”
in Italy must be strong indeed.

Mussolini Made the Trains Run I Time

Us older folks have all heard this famous statement. I’ve heard three
explanations of it (there certainly may be more) as follows:

1. Il Duce did in fact get the trains to run on a reasonable schedule (on
time)
2. It was simply a Fascist Lie (one of many)
3. Mussolini stretched the train schedules to the point that the trains
almost had to be on time. Anyone who has departed on a an airline flight
one hour late and miraculously arrived on time at the destination knows
this phenomenon.

If you are ever asked a multiple choice question about this “achievement”
of Mussolini and the above answers are among your choices, do what you
should always do with a multiple choice question –eliminate the obviously
false answers. In this case eliminate number 1 above. I guarantee you that
neither Mussolini or any other human being did or could make the trains run
on time in Italy. Recently I took a train that was 25 minutes late instead
of the one I wanted which was one hour late and would have arrived after
the later scheduled train that I took. Both trains were coming from a
starting point less than one hour away.

Siena (Continued)

The big event in Siena is the twice yearly Palio — the horse race around
the Campo in center of town. The city is divided into 17 Contrade (singular
Contrada) each of which have a horse in the race at least for one of
the two yearly races. The Contrade are named
after animals –giraffe, snail, turtle, etc. Each Contrada has its own
church, own museum, own social club, etc. When I made a purchase there
recently I asked the store owner which Contrada was his. He proudly took a
medal on a necklace out from under his short and showed me the snail.

Many years ago the New Yorker did a long article on The Palio. The author
soon discovered that the race had a multitude of rules developed since it
started in the Middle Ages. But nobody obeyed the rules. In frustration the
author asked the Mayor of Siena why there were so many rules if they were
not followed. The Mayor replied “Why, without rules you have anarchy!”

That story tells you about 90% of what you need to know to live in Italy.

Big Sale at Shoe Store

At a chic shoe store in town there was a big sale. In the words of an old
friend of mine the prices came down “from sky high to merely ridiculous.”
But the crowds at the store were so large that there was a Policeman there to
control them. He kept saying “patienza.” (Patience)

My Favorite Quiz Show

It is called L’Eredita and is a mix of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and
The Weakest Link. This week I especially liked the contestant who was a
John Travolta imitator (ala Saturday Night Fever)and ended up doing a dance
with one of the show’s dancing girls (an item mentioned in an earlier
edition of this newsletter)while his parents in the audience beamed
(“That’s Our Boy”)

You see women in important positions in Italy, but Women’s Lib doesn’t
control anything here. Here is one of questions on the show last week
“In the Playboy Magazine listing of the 10 sexiest women movie stars of the
age, who came in third?” Then there was a list of 10 such as Brigitte
Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Jean Harlow, etc. By the way number 3
was Raquel Welch.

On this show, at one point a person who has missed two questions much
select another of the 6 contestants for a challenge question. This other
person is asked a question. If he or she gets it right, the person who
selected them is eliminated. If he or she misses it, that person is
eliminated. The person doing the selection has to point his or her finger
at the person to be asked the challenge question. You can’t imagine how
difficult this is for the contestant –they have to do a public act that is
impolite toward someone who has done nothing to offend them. This runs
against all the conventions of Italian life.

Obesity

It is almost no existent in Italy. My mother was 4 foot 11 inches and
weighed about 135 pounds. This type of stocky middle aged person is common.
But you don’t see people who are 5 foot 3 inches and weigh 200 pounds. You
don’t see men with Dunlap’s Disease (Their Tummy Done Lap Over Their Belt).
When you see a really obese person you turn your head because it is so
uncommon. If you believe in the Atkins Diet (which by the way is being
investigated scientifically and may not be so dangerous as doctors have
claimed), Italy should be full of very fat people. Bottom line is that how
much you eat may be more important than what you eat. Although you’ve heard
of big Italian multi-course dinners, over the day Italians eat less than
Americans.

Big Fat Greek Wedding

This film which started out as a limited art house release film in USA and
then was so successful that it got wide distribution, it coming to Italy.
Someone in USA who saw it said that Italian-Americans would recognize the
stereotypes in the film. Apparently others thought so too because they have
spent the money to dub it into Italian.

My Language Improvement

It doesn’t seem day by day that I know a lot more Italian, but when I do
something, like attend a lecture, that I did too at start of my stay, then
it is clear how much more I understand now.

Passagiata

At 6 pm the streets are mobbed; Italians taking the evening stroll, the
passagiata. Chuck Berry had a song “No Particular Place to Go” about a
teenager just driving around at night in his car. Well the passagiata is
that magnified about 10 times in participation. In the book “Ciao America”
an Italian writer who lived in DC for a year tells about a visit from his
friends from Italy to DC. At 6 pm they were ready to go out and stroll the
streets; they were amazed to discover this “isn’t done” in USA

Addendum to Issue Number 7

After I wrote last week about all the flowers in the Italian cemetery, I
realized that I had visited the cemetery about one week after “All Saints
Day” (November 1) which is traditional day for putting flowers on graves.
So I did not see a typical week, but I can assure you that at any time there
are more flowers on graves in Italy than in USA. I also realized that the
gravestones I saw in the front part of cemetery (where the body can stay for
only 10 years) probably are useless after the 10 years because the body will
then go into a vault.

Packing Heat

It seems that any one with an even marginal law enforcement position has a
gun. At the diocesan museum (which one enters through a door in the the
tourist office, there are very few visitors). All visitors must be guided
through the museum. There are TV monitors covering every room. There is a
guy at front desk. He doesn’t sell the tickets. He looks at monitors. The
only time he is out of his chair is to go out for a smoke. He has a gun.

What’s Better In Italy than in USA

1. Food (no surprise). Sometimes you will buy a simple item like
sliced ham for sandwich or olives and then realize it tastes better than
anything similar thing you have ever eaten in USA.

2. Trains. Italian trains are not good by European standards, but
compared to trains in USA,they are great. Very inexpensive. With my senior
citizen discount I can go someplace 2 1/2 hours by train and pay about $6.

3. Can pay tolls on Autostrade with almost any credit card. Automatic
system.

4. More options in cell phone systems. You can send text messages
over cell phone. You can buy a cell phone and then just put money on your
account without signing up for a one year plan. Plans are also available.

5. No “Restrooms for Customers Only” signs.

6. My bathroom radiator is mounted vertically on the wall and also
serves as a heated towel rack when heat is on.

7. Better bank cash machine system. You get your bank card back
BEFORE you get the money. So you don’t forget your card because you
certainly will wait for the money after your card has been returned to you.

Siena

I visited Siena on Friday for second time. I was there briefly in
1999. Siena may be the second most popular city for tourists in Tuscany
after Florence. I did not realize until Friday that Siena is smaller than
Pistoia with only 2/3 as many residents. Siena was a major city in late
medieval period that simply did not recover from the scourge of the plague.
So time passed it by. It did not expand or change much. Perhaps a little
like Williamsburg, Virginia although Williamsburg was in much worse
disrepair when restoration began in late 1930s. Siena is a delightful place
to visit. Recently the hospital on the major plaza closed as a hospital
after 1200 years in that role. It is now a place for art exhibits. It has
in it a room filled with frescoes of the history of the hospital. One of
these is about an ongoing dispute about rules of over 600 years ago between
the Governing Body of the Cathedral that was the Board of Directors of the
Hospital and the monks who actually did the work there. Sounds just like
today.

Mormons

There are two young Mormon missionaries from USA in Pistoia. I can’t
think of a less likely place to make converts. They may be working among
the immigrant population as do evangelical churches in USA. I don’t know if
Mormon missionaries are expected to “win” converts or simply to tell the
word and let the chips fall where they may. In Italy the Catholic Church is
part of everyday life like the air one breathes. But people pay little
attention to it in many ways. Italy has the lowest birth rate in Europe;
that tells you how closely they follow the church’s rules on birth control.
I don’t think that Italians often think “what does the church say” as they
make decisions in everyday life. Mormonism on the other hand is an
encompassing religion that attempts to control (or at least influence) the
decisions of everyday life. Nothing could be more alien to Italians.

One of the Mormons told me that in a movie released in Italy about the
Amish they translated “Amish” as “Mormon” in Italian. As a result people
are always asking him where his beard is and why he is not wearing old
fashioned clothes. The hard life of a missionary.

Dogs

In 1967 I saw a sign in London that said “A Person in Charge of an Animal
that Fouls the Footway in Liable to a Fine of £10″ If Italy passed such a
law (highly improbable)and enforced it (impossible) the result would be that
the national budget could be balanced with no new taxes. Quite simply
there is dog crap everywhere. In Pistoia there are machines that dispense a
plastic bag into which the owner can deposit the crap, but one has to pay
for the bag. Perhaps some do. Perhaps some bring their own bags, but most
just leave the crap on the pavement.

Cemetery

I stopped by a cemetery in a small town. The small front section had regular
below ground graves with a sign that one could stay there only 10 years and
then the body had to be moved elsewhere. Behind this outside area was a
building filled with burial vaults. Almost every new grave had fresh
flowers on it. Most of the inside vaults were decorated with fresh flowers
although the older ones more often had artificial flowers.

I know you can get a Perpetual Care contract in a US Cemetery, but I assume
this means they cut the grass. I don’t recall ever seeing so many fresh
flowers on my infrequent visits to America cemeteries. This little visit
underscored the importance of FAMILY in Italy.

The outside new plots had a small solar panel on them that powered a
flickering votive light on the grave. Interestingly enough solar power is
infrequent in Italy. With the sunny weather and high cost of energy one
would think Italians would flock to solar power. But I am told the
government, which has a monopoly on electric power and natural gas, makes
people using solar power pay a special tax because they are not buying their
energy from the governmental monopoly.

I assume there is an exception to this tax for small solar panels used to
power votive lights on graves.

A True American

After my visit to Aviano airbase last week to meet my son Chris, I have now
a microwave, VCR, DVD, and stereo. The VCR and DVD are special units that
play both USA and European versions of these items. I may still have to get
a multi-system TV to use these units.

I also brought back Hershey bars. I figure if they worked for the GIs with
Italian women in 1946, what harm in trying again.

Olive Picking

I went olive picking at the grove of the sister of my landlady. It is not
particularly hard work. It is done in the ancient way with simple tools to
strip the branches of the olives which fall onto a net under the tree and
are then put in burlap bags. The olives are taken to a local mill to be
pressed. I guess the owner either takes to oil for his own use or to sell
himself or it is sold at that point to a bottler.One could mechanize this
process with a machine that shakes the trees, but most groves are too small
to support the cost of such a machine. We had a 4 course lunch that was
wonderful. I was then ready for my nap–not more picking. In payment I did
get a bottle of their first press olive oil which is marvelous.

Italian Cars

Cars in Italy don’t often have two features common in USA –automatic
transmission and cruise control. A standard transmission does give better
gas mileage which may explain at least in part its popularity in Europe with
the high cost of gas. I note some European luxury cars now offer a dual
transmission that is either automatic or shifting as the owner decides to
do. But I think that Italians (and probably Europeans in general) are more
interested in “controlling” the car during the act of driving. Automatic
transmission and cruise control detract from that sense of control.

Horoscopes

You hear the Horoscope for every sign every day on Italian radio stations.
This seems to be a more popular feature of life here than in USA. I always
viewed it as an amusing trifle, analogous to the fortune you get in a
Chinese cookie. I can’t tell if people take it more seriously here, but its
ubiquitous nature hints to me that they do.

The Class Visit to the Museum

I went to the local diocesan museum which has a collection of religious
artifacts (some very lovely) and also a modest archeological collection. A
class of 11 year olds were at the museum taking a tour. Museums are not the
most interesting thing for kids. Often museums in USA have sections of
special interest for children.

The class was very noisy and talkative (with some mild attempts by teachers
to keep order)as they saw exciting things such as the recently renovated
cape of a 17th century bishop of Pistoia with a short lecture explaining the
process of renovating this object. No teacher in USA would even take such a
group to see this item. But art and history are the “patrimony” of Italy.
They are important in a way far greater than in USA. As a result, it is
deemed necessary to expose young children to this patrimony. Somehow the
kids just don’t understand this importance. I later met the class on the
street and chatted with one teacher. He told me that they museum bored
them but they loved to look at shoes in the shop windows.

Errata

I wrote recently that I had never had a clerk in a US store test a new light
bulb before selling it to me. A New York City friend tells me this is a
standard practice on upper East Side of New York. In New York, however, the
test is done so that the next day the person cannot bring back to the shop
the old bulb, the receipt for the new bulb, and then claim that the day
before they purchased a defective bulb that now should be replaced free. In
an Italian shop one would not worry about this type of dishonesty.

WEATHER

It is still warm here, but it rains a lot. The locals say that this much
rain is very unusual. Maybe this is true or maybe it is a variant of the
“the fish were biting last week” which you hear when you catch nothing at a
famous fishing spot.

DRIVING IN ITALY

In USA when you turn into a street and see cars parked facing you on both
sides of street, you realize that you have entered a one way street by
mistake. Not so in Italy.

WHAT DO I DO ALL DAY?

People ask me how I fill my days. They are not all the same; some are
busier than others. He is a review of Monday, October 28

**Food shopping and clothes to dry cleaner. One tends to shop more often in
Italy. Refrigerators are not as large, and some things are best bought
fresh.

** Films to photo shop to develop (I have an APS system camera; costs much
more to develop this film here than in USA)

** Catch up with weekend e mail

** Go to Tobacco shop to buy large envelope to mail item to USA

** Go to local tourist office to get a one page introduction for videotape
being made about Pistoia. The lady there has translated it (word for word)
from Italian to English. Now I am revising her translation. The Italian
style of writing is more florid and also more indirect than in English. So
a direct word for word translation does not work. I realize that I will
learn to read and write Italian well enough to be understood, but I never
will write or speak in the Italian style.

** Rent car for weekend trip to Aviano in Northern Italy where I will meet
my son Chris. It is a two and one-half day rental, but I can’t pick up car
on Friday because that is a Holiday (All Saints Day)and I can’t return it on
Sunday because office is closed. So it becomes a four day rental instead.

** Order from Amazon.com three Beginning Italian-English dictionaries. I
have an older edition of this item. If the persons with whom I am working as
a language partner want to learn English, they need at the bare minimum to
master the vocabulary in this simple illustrated dictionary. I will of
course, learn the Italian words. We will see how serious they are about
learning English.

** Call local Center for Foreigners to find out when Italian class begins
meeting.

** Study Italian for a while

BUYING A LIGHT BULB

I bought a light bulb for over the stove at an electrical shop. It is an
unusual size that you can’t get a Supermarket. The woman took it out of the
box and stuck it in a test socket on the wall. It lit up so she put in back
in box and gave it to me. I’ve never had a clerk in USA check a new light
bulb to see if it works. Just a little sign that Italians want to know
about what they are buying. The Italian phrase for something selling out as
a really hot item is that it can be sold “in closed boxes.” I think that
mail order/phone order purchasing will not take off in Italy as it has in
the USA.

THE SWEDISH ORCHESTRA

An orchestra came to town from Lund, Sweden. It played popular music of
1920s and 1930s. in style of a band of that era (before the Swing Era began
and bands became more jazzy). I heard them in concert on Thursday night and
then on Friday I went to a Charleston Party sponsored by the Breda Works
here. Breda works makes subway cars for all over the world including USA.
It costs 25 Euros. A wonderful banquet. I made reservation. Nobody was
there to collect money or check people in; so I ate for free. I sat with
band members between sets.

The Swedes almost all spoke good English. In general the people from
smaller countries in Europe speak foreign languages better. They realize
that once they are 100 miles from home, nobody speaks their language. But
also in these countries American movies and TV shows are not dubbed into
native tongue. They use subtitles instead. So they hear English spoken much
more than Germans, French and Italians who dub everything into the native
language.

ITALIAN AUTOSTRADE

It’s fast. One drives at about 80-85 mph. Sometimes I was getting up near
100 mph. I don’t know how one gets a speeding ticket in Italy. Maybe the
car has to go airborne for at least 50 feet. Autostrade is also very
expensive. For about 180 miles I paid $13.

VENICE

I went there with my son Chris and his friend Susie on Saturday. It was my
first trip there since 1956. All I remember from first trip is staying up
all night killing mosquitoes in our hotel room.

Venice is very lovely. Because there are no cars the streets are all still
very narrow and winding. You wind through these streets and suddenly emerge
into the grandeur of St. Mark’s Square.

Venice is also sinking. There are various plans on how to save it with no
general agreement. Even if it can be saved physically, how should it
endure? Should it remain a vibrant living city, or is it best simply to make
it a tourist site such as Williamsburg, Virginia? In that case the rest of
the city’s activities would have to move elsewhere.

ITALIAN RADIO

I don’t care much for the popular music that is endemic on Italian radio.
Classical music is almost non existent. While driving to see Chris I
noticed that one station would often suddenly merge into another. There is
same problem at times in USA, but it is much more prevalent in Italy. I
think the reason is that in USA there are rules limiting stations with
similar frequencies from being geographically located close together. I
don’t think they have same rules here. There are probably more stations in
Italy than would be allowed under USA rules.